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Indy’s last day was surrounded by our love ♥

Love surrounds me as I try to get through the day without my boy. It has been 6 weeks  and my heart is so broken… They say it gets easier… but not yet. I think of him all of the time and re-live so many loving moments with him in my mind. I cherish the very many photos I have and I watch his videos.  I thank God every day that I took so many pictures & movies! I cry  each and every day and reach out for him to comfort me with his love…

 

Indy’s last day with me started off with the good news that he ate his breakfast all on his own for the 10th day in a row!  After a set-back in May, I was hand-feeding him breakfast and on a few occasions, dinner ~ but never once missed a meal! After breakfast, he wanted to stay out on the deck in our screen house with me.  I dropped everything just to spend those special moments with him. We sat outside for close to 3 hours. It was a beautiful spring morning. I brushed him out, took a couple of pictures, and cuddled with him. There were many kisses exchanged & many I love you’s said!!      

 

 I left for a couple hours to take my yoga class & to pick up some treats and another squeaky stuffed animal for Indiana. I returned home and told him I had a surprise for him & and he was so happy!  He was squeaking his new toy & had so much fun! I filmed this & also him singing & talking to me! Not to mention all of the cuddling, kisses and I love you’s that were spoken! It was such a nice afternoon! After a while he took a nap and rested comfortably by my feet.

 At 3:30, it was time for his cough medicine & pain pill but he didn’t jump up for his peanut butter coated meds. I was worried but decided to give it to him as he was resting. He loved every drop!  I noticed that his ears felt warm and under his chin too.  This seemed out of the ordinary since we kept the air-conditioning at 65 to keep our boy very comfortable! (so we had to wear another layer – it was well worth it!) I called the doctor and they wanted me to take his temp “you know where”. I said I would keep an eye on him & would bring him in the next day if he was still warm. I also noticed that the past few days he was starting to cough in-between his meds – it seemed to be wearing off sooner. We talked about us increasing the dosage starting the next day.  I wanted my boy to feel as good as possible & not have to cough so much. 

At 4:30 I told Indy it was time for dinner and he got right up and inhaled his food right down it!!  After his meal, he wanted to go outside on the deck in the screen house again & rest in his favorite spot! While I was sitting down cuddling with him, he started to cough more often and it had only been an hour since he took his cough medicine.  He also started to get up and cough away from me so not to worry his mommy.  He gagged a little too. I kept my eye on him and didn’t leave his side. I was very worried.  At 5:30 he had coughed up a little blood. My heart sank and I called my husband first and then the doctor.  I burst out crying as I was trying to be brave… They said to call them if it happened again and in the meantime, give him a pill for acid reflux, just in case…  I then called my dear friend and when she asked if everything was ok – i said i wasn’t sure & burst out crying again. She said she was on her way over. We sat with him for an hour before my hubby arrived home on a later train. Indy jumped up to see him, gave kisses and went back on his cushion that I had outside..

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 At 7:30 he coughed up a tiny bit of blood and I feel it was God’s way of telling me that something was very wrong. I called the vet again and they said that they will be closing in 1/2 hour and we should bring him in knowing we may have to make a decision. I was crying and said: this is happening so fast! They responded on how it has been months and we both agreed how very blessed we have been that he beat the odds 17 months when we were only promised 4!! They also commented on how they have never met anyone like me who gave so much love to their dog and especially in his situation – that I have gone above & beyond with my Indy boy – he so deserved it!!

We were devastated but knew we were doing the right thing and it was for love. Indy jumped into the truck on his own and I sat in the way back with my arms around him for the whole ride… He did cough more & another tiny drop of blood was seen. My husband carried Indy out of the truck, but he trotted right in to say hi to his friends at the doctor’s office. Everyone there surely loved him & were all so sad… We were taken to the very back room where they had prepared a nice blanket for Indy to lay on. The Dr. was very surprised at how good our boy looked. He offered him cookies and Indy ate many. The doctor couldn’t believe he was eating the cookies at a time like this! But this was a good thing… He was not visibly suffering at all. The vet gave him sedation with an injection and his cough stopped. The staff stopped by to give him love and then we visited with Indiana for at least an hour and 1/2.  He even barked for a few more cookies when we asked him.I was on the floor patting, cuddling, kissing & loving him “to death do we part”. I embraced every breath as he was starting to get tired. My honey then joined me on the floor & we both got big kisses from Indy. Those were the most cherished ones we ever had. We told him how much we loved him and that it was bedtime.  He was looking at us with so much love and eyes were starting to close. I tried not to cry too much as I wanted him to know I was going to be ok (even though I couldn’t imagine living without him).

The vet shaved his back leg and prepared him for the injection to take him on his peaceful journey.  I had him in my arms and he had his head up as I kissed him & embraced his love. He slowly nuzzled his head in my arms and on his front paw. He took his last deep breath and let it out with a very peaceful & relaxed sigh…. I held on to him for quite a while before I let go. My husband & I sat with him for another 1/2 hour as he looked so peaceful. It was just as if he was sleeping next to us. As sad as we were, we knew he was at peace. The blessing he was given was that he did not suffer. The blessing we were given was that we never saw him suffer. It was a very tranquil moment surrounded by love…

 

 Indiana was truly a gift to us and everyone who loved him (and that was many!) He touched so many people’s lives and we all are so blessed to have had his love… Indiana’s love touched the souls of everyone who looked into those big brown eyes… To have been loved Indiana was so fulfilling and so special. He will live on in our hearts forever. I carry him with me wherever I go… We loved him so much that we said goodbye…but just  …until we meet again on the other side…we will be together until the end of time. Until then, he will live on in our hearts and in our dreams. We will love you forever Indy xoxo     

 The spirit of Indiana will live on forever… his love surrounds us all and his legend will be honored.  He is truly a gentle tripawd warrior who has inspired so many….He gives us all hope that a miracle can happen – he beat the odds for 17 months … when they told us 4-5! We were so blessed and grateful to have had all of that extra time to love him. I worked my whole life around my boy and gave him the best treatment to fight this devastating osteosarcoma … I gave him all my love! ♥♥♥



14 Responses to “Indy’s last day was surrounded by our love ♥”

  1.   fightingforsammy Says:

    Indy and you were meant to be. I am sorry that this part of his story ends but I do believe he lives on through you. Thank you for letting us in on your last day together. So touching! Play and talk and sing on beautiful boy, your mom and you will be together again one day.

    Elizabeth

    •   indiana Says:

      Thank you Elizabeth ~Yes, I do believe that we were meant to be! Each and every day I honor his life and love him from the botom of my heart. I hear his voice and see that beautiful face all of the time. I miss him so very much and re-live all of those wonderful moments I had with him…and there were so many! xoxo

  2.   chilidawg Says:

    So beautifully written, I cried reading this. What a special boy and what wonderful memories you have of your special boy. Thank you for sharing your last day together. Indy was sure surrounded by love and knew he was loved! What a blessing he was to you and those who knew him.

    •   indiana Says:

      Thank you, I cry every time I write and read all of these sweet comments! Indy was a very special boy & I have countless memories that I play back over & over again. Our last day together was filled with love and I have no regrets…We had such a deep love for one another & I felt it and still do. Indy was truly a blessing and he lives on in my heart and in my soul… xoxo

  3.   admin Says:

    We loved him so much that we said goodbye…

    A gift to all of us, indeed. Thank you for sharing this.

    •   indiana Says:

      That is so true…the love we have is so deep that we know when it’s time to say goodbye… It is our love that guidesus. Thank you, I wanted to share his story because there was so much love all aorund xoxo.

      (by the way, I meant to let you know, “Admin” comments keeps going to my spam mail box)

  4.   gillian Says:

    Sorry he’s gone thank you for sharing the memory of your last day together it sounds perfect.

    •   indiana Says:

      Thank you, our last day together was so filled with love. Indy felt the love and knew I would do anything for him… he lived in the moment and all of his moments were happy…right until his last loving breath…xoxo

  5.   etgayle Says:

    we are better tripawd sisters and brothers because you shared indy with us. your love and devotion to each other is something we are all striving for. he is with you in spirit – love never ends.

    charon & gayle

    •   indiana Says:

      Thank you Charon & Gayle, Indy was surely an inspiration to all. I poured my love out to him and it grew every day that we were together. I felt his deep love for me and he lives on inside my heart and in my dreams…Yes, love never ends…xoxo

  6.   jerry Says:

    Oh Carol, I know that was so hard to write. Thank you for your bravery and sharing such a stoic, handsome boy’s life with us. Indy will always be alive in our hearts, we miss him though. xoxo

    •   indiana Says:

      Thank you “Jerry”! I cried with every word and am writing now through many tears. I miss my boy so very much and not a day goes by that I don’t do something to honor his sweet life. I know that you know exactly how I feel. That’s why we are all here on this wonderful Tripawds blog. I will continue to post about indy….he lives on through me and’ always will. He was such a happy soul and lived to love! xoxo

  7.   CatiesMom Says:

    Such a truly beautiful boy, Carol.

    Needless to say, because your last hours with Indy are way too close to ours with Catie, this made me weep. What a brave boy he was. What a brave mom you were.

  8.   indiana Says:

    Oh Carmen, I shed so many tears as I write. I remember sobbing after reading your sweet Catie became an angel. Little did I know that my Indy would be flying beside her shortly after. They are running free with all of the other brave Tripawds who fought as long as they could to stay on this earth to love and be loved. My heart is so broken and not a day goes by without tears. Indy lives on in my heart and will always be my soul dog. I lived and breathed for him and still do. xoxo

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